Things You Learn in Therapy
Things You Learn in Therapy
Ep 50: Embracing Life's Seasons: Navigating Change with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion
Ever felt overwhelmed by the constant changes life throws at you? Discover how to embrace and navigate those ever-present shifts by understanding and taking advantage of the seasons of life. Today, we delve into the importance of being mindful of our own rhythms, energy, and emotions, allowing us to recharge and be ready for whatever life brings our way. Reflect on the current season you're in, and learn how to be kind to yourself as you face the challenges and changes ahead.
Next week, join us as we tackle the topic of anger and why it's okay to experience it. We'll also cover anger through the child lens on my other podcast that comes out on Mondays, so if anger is something you encounter in your life, relationships, or with children you work or live with, don't miss out on some valuable insights.
Also, stay tuned for an enlightening conversation with a special guest for Pride Month, coming later this month!
If you're a therapist or psychologist who would like to be a guest on the show, we'd love to hear from you. Thanks for being part of this journey with me!
This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast
Feel free to share your thoughts at www.makewordsmatterforgood.com or email me at Beth@makewordsmatterforgood.com
If you are a therapist or psychologist and want to be a guest on the show, please complete this form to apply: https://forms.gle/ooy8QirpgL2JSLhP6
www.bethtrammell.com
Hi, dear listener, thanks for joining today. I'm your host, dr Beth Tramell, and this is Things You Learned Therapy And this is the first episode of my summer season where I'm going to be talking about various seasons of life, right, so we are kind of in this summer season and even if you don't live in a place where there are four seasons, i think less about seasons being, you know, whether it's the summer solstice or you know the winter solstice, but really more like various times in life, and I want to talk about how we kind of learn to ebb and flow within those various seasons and the rhythms that come with that. On Monday, i released an episode on my other podcast, kids These Days Need Us to Make Words Matter for Good where I talked about kind of structure how do we create structure in the summer and what does structure kind of really mean. And this episode I want to talk really more about us as adults. Right, how do we learn how to adjust, to change? right?
Speaker 1:I heard a speaker once at a conference and you know he kind of shared that most of us would say you know we don't love change, you know that we don't really feel comfortable with change, and he then went on to say that actually most of us really embrace change that feels within our control. So, for example, i wear my hair kind of a different way every day, i wear different clothes throughout the day or the week, and so all of those are changes that I embrace, that I want, that I really seek out, and probably because it's within my control. And so I think the point of this speaker, and the one that I'm going to also try to make here, is that change by itself is not the problem. Everything is always changing. You know, you're showing up at work at eight o'clock today, and tomorrow it may be eight o'clock, or maybe it's nine o'clock. Today it may be sunny and warm out, and tomorrow it may be cloudy or rainy. Life is constantly changing, and so what that means is we're constantly adjusting.
Speaker 1:So I think, when I think about the time that I have spent with clients over the last 20 years in private practice or in community based settings, i think about how folks kind of come into problems right, they come into struggle when they are trying to operate today's problems under yesterday's rhythm. So what I mean is each day we have varying levels of energy, excitement, joy, struggle, anxiety, whatever it might be right. Those things ebb and flow, they go up and down, they are greater and smaller. Our tasks each day ebb and flow, go up and down, are harder or easier, and so I think, rather than us thinking about, goodness, i have to be on 10 every day all the time? realize that I don't have to be on 10 every day all the time. There are various parts of my day where I do have to be on 10. I have to take all the energy I have right now and use it in this moment or this next hour or this next hour and a half right, but then after that I need to recharge, i need to preserve, i need to come back to baseline, and so that might mean I'm intentionally taking breath, i'm intentionally reflecting, i'm intentionally doing what I need to do to calm my body, to bring myself back to equilibrium, so that I can recharge. So in the next two hours or three hours, if I have to go back to 10, i'm not fully depleted.
Speaker 1:I think, as I reflect on some clients, that I've kind of shared their journey with them. I think about some of those seasons and those rhythms where things were really busy and they felt really busy And then there were seasons where they were less busy and they were more reflective And when we would talk in the therapy room and we would say you know, how did you get through that phase? How'd you get through that rhythm? You know, the most common answer I can think about client sharing is they'll say I don't know. They'll say I don't know, i just did, i just did it. I don't know how I did it, but I just did it.
Speaker 1:So if you're in a season where you're not sure how you're going to get through it and you're not sure how you just got through your last season, i want to encourage you to take time to pause and figure out. You know, is this a season where I need more support And I need to find my own therapist? Is this a season where my partner and I need to reach out and do some couples work? Or maybe this is my season to rest and reflect and buy a journal and study meditation and practice meditation. Maybe this is my season of being recharged And now it's time for you to go out and do that thing that you've been afraid of. Maybe this is a season where you're dreaming. Maybe you're dreaming and you have the energy for all of the streaming and the reality of those dreams is coming up, and so this is a season of patience and planning which, frankly, i don't do. Well, i've been in those seasons and I have jumped right into doing and I maybe needed that phase of planning and resting and preparing.
Speaker 1:You know, as this summer is underway, as we are in these next couple of months, what does this season bring for you? How is this rhythm different than your typical rhythm, and how can you be kind to yourself as you're figuring out how to succeed in this new rhythm? I know for me that's always a challenge, you know, because, like I said earlier, we're kind of using the same strategy as we used yesterday or the day before last week or whatever, and we might be in a different season now, and so I can I can be really unkind to myself in learning how to really engage in this new rhythm, because for me it doesn't always come as like an abrupt change. Right, it doesn't always. I can't always predict when the seasons are going to be at a much faster pace or a slower pace. Some things I can, you know. I can control my calendar. I can set certain things on my calendar the way I want them to. And then there are other things that I can't always predict, and so sometimes those things I can't predict or I can't plan for are the very things that make this season seem so stressful.
Speaker 1:And so, as I am trying to have kindness and adjusting to that rhythm of busyness that I didn't predict for, i really do have to remind myself that, hey, this is a different rhythm, this is a different rhythm, and I have to use a different strategy, or I have to be in a different space for energy, whatever that kind of looks like right. And so I guess my hope today is that you will hear this and be inspired to show kindness to yourself and those around you, but also to spend time reflecting on the rhythm of life, where you're at right now, what season of life are you in, and how can I find the good here? And then, ooh, okay, this might be for me as much as it is for you, listener How can I not just see the good, be grateful for the good, but how can I also share the good with others? You know, at the heart of kind of, my philosophy in making words matter for good is that our words don't matter for good, unless we make them do that right. And so sometimes I'll think things in my head and those words in my head may be good, and I don't always share them out loud, and maybe this is a reminder for me also that in these seasons where things are stressful or they're not stressful, maybe we intentionally try to use them for good.
Speaker 1:So next week, on Friday, i'm gonna release an episode on anger and how anger is okay. I'm gonna also be covering anger through the child lens on my other podcast that comes out on Mondays, and so if anger is something you experience, either on your own, in your relationship or with kids that you work with or live with, i hope you'll tune in and hopefully gather some nuggets of goodness around anger. I also recently, with a new guest that I have never met and just loved, immediately recorded an episode for Pride Month that I will also be releasing this month that I'm really excited about, so I hope you'll tune into that as well. So, listener, thank you for being here, spending your time with me. I really value each listener who tunes in each week, and if you have feedback or thoughts or even questions or, frankly, if you're a therapist or psychologist who wants to come on the show and be a guest. I would love to chat with you. Feel free to reach out and I'd love to hear from you. Until then, stay safe and stay well, friend.
