Things You Learn in Therapy
Things You Learn in Therapy
DEBRIEF - Maureen Clancy's episode - Embracing Authenticity: Moving Beyond Labels for Personal and Professional Growth
What if the way we label our life experiences is holding us back from true growth? Join us as we explore this compelling question with the refreshingly honest Maureen Clancy. Her unique perspective invites us to look beyond the binary labels of 'good' and 'bad' and embrace the full spectrum of life’s experiences. Alongside my research assistant, Sarah, we unpack Maureen's insightful approach, highlighting how this mindset shift can significantly impact both personal and professional growth, especially within the realm of therapy.
The episode also delves into the pressures therapists face in maintaining a façade of perfection. Maureen's vulnerability and authenticity resonate deeply, encouraging us to embrace our own struggles. We discuss the importance of presenting a calm, regulated presence to clients and how this can be a powerful tool in the therapy room. Whether you're a seasoned therapist or just embarking on your journey of personal development, Maureen's wisdom offers a fresh perspective full of grace and authenticity. Tune in to celebrate the beauty of realness both in therapy and beyond.
www.bethtrammell.com
Hello listener Beth Trammell here, the host of Things you Learn, therapy. I'm glad you're here, and today we're going to do a little debrief of Maureen Clancy's episode, and I'm so thrilled that my research assistant, undergraduate student, sarah, is here with us again. She came last week to share a little bit on Chrissy's episode. No, not Chrissy Barbara. We talked about Barbara last time, didn't we? Oh, this is going to be so interesting because when I recorded with Barbara, I actually got flavors of Maureen when I was with her, and so I am so excited to hear your impression of Maureen because I have a real bias toward loving everything about Maureen. So I just love sharing space with her and honestly, I'm so grateful I have so many guests that I could say this very same thing for, but there is definitely just something that Maureen really connected with me, I think one of our first episodes together.
Speaker 1:I keep rambling here, sarah, I'm going to give you a chance to say hi but one of our first episodes was so powerful for me personally, as you know, she was kind of challenging me to think about my own life in such a beautiful way, you know, like not in a you know kind of grump way or anything, but just sort of like why does everything in my life have to be categorized as either good or bad, like why can't it just just be, you know? And so I feel like I have this connection to Maureen, because she was such this like gentle, guidance and and, frankly, my own life. So anyway, sarah, tell us just a little bit about you and then tell us like one thing that stood out to you about this episode with Maureen.
Speaker 2:Well, again I'm Sarah, I'm an undergraduate student and I'm Dr Tramiel's research assistant this semester. And let's see, the first thing that stood out to me, just like one thing, was just the honesty, vulnerability and realness of this episode. Like it was just so real and it was really refreshing. I loved that. I mean, I could say that about every episode, but yeah, this one it was good.
Speaker 1:You know, what is so funny is, I think, as a therapist and actually as I train graduate students who are coming to become therapists, I actually had this question just make sure that we can kind of manage our own issues well enough that we can still be good therapists, you know? And, and you know, this student kind of asked me like well, what happens if a therapist needs to take some time for themselves to heal or or do their own work and they, you know, does that ruin their reputation? And I'll tell you. I mean, I remember moments in this episode and when Maureen and I kind of talked about the idea for this episode.
Speaker 1:I would be lying if I didn't have a moment where I was like, oh, you know, like that, that pressure to you know, feel like you have it all together and to prove to people that you can be a competent therapist is real. And I loved the realness from Maureen and how she, you know, kind of really challenged me to pull my own realness out. But yeah, I think it is tricky to like balance, allowing people to see that, because I think, to your point, I think people really do appreciate hearing the real struggle that it can be on the other side of the therapy room as a therapist, um, but also like that, sometimes that's scary and, and you know, even as I'm saying this out loud, it's like, yeah, I mean, it's probably as scary as coming to therapy on the other side of the couch, right?
Speaker 2:Right, right, I don't know. I totally get that and I see that and just even like I'm not even in graduate school yet and I already feel this pressure that a row I've got to have this figured out. I have to be this like perfect, mindful present being all the time, you know, and so I think that a lot of people feel that way, you know. So, um, but I really appreciate what Maureen said about like the best things we can offer our clients in, and I think really just anyone that's in our lives is like a calm, nervous system.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That was beautiful when she said that.
Speaker 1:Oh, and she's so good. I mean, every episode she talks about the nervous system and how you know, clearly we have science has made so many great strides to push how much our biological system impacts our mental health, and so I love that she continues to be such an advocate for that science. And I know, I mean I just it's like when Maureen comes and shares, it's like yes, like it just feels like that's so good and true and it sounds simple though I don't think she is. She's not suggesting that it's simple, but it's like if I could just stay rooted in that, you know, like, yeah, I could only focus on that and then get rid of all the other distractions and all the other kind of you know things that I think I need to do in this situation or that situation, or with this person or with that person, and if I could just come as a calming presence, how healing can that be for a person? Oh, she's so right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I mean just being that calm presence. That would that would be amazing, and she totally gives that, that vibe, the whole time you're talking to her.
Speaker 1:Isn't it wild, I mean I love that it comes through without you seeing her, like her voice. But when you see her face, like her face, her body, like all of her being, exudes that same calmness but not, not like, not stillness in a way. That kind of makes you anxious as a talker. You know she just has this warmth that in all of her nonverbal communication says I'm here and I'm listening and I'm present and I am open to whatever it is you have to offer.
Speaker 2:It's amazing For the episode. You know I looked up her TikTok to link that and she exudes that on TikTok of all places. You know it's like amazing.
Speaker 1:It's so true. I actually had not ever thought about that. I've watched her TikToks and Instagram and I think to myself I can't watch this anymore because I'm so jealous of Maureen that she's figured out how to do this. And Maureen would tell me not to compare myself to her. And Maureen would tell me that you know I can, I could be my own version of what it is, but yeah, I just I love that you're saying that, because it really does just kind of live within her.
Speaker 2:It does, it does and like. One other thing that I picked up there from her was like her tips about like grounding yourself in the moment, and it was really cool because these tips are things that you can do anytime, anywhere. You can do it in a session, you can do it in a meeting, just anytime, like pushing your feet onto the floor, you know, noticing what you smell, noticing your senses. You can do that and still like it'll help you remain present in the situation and moment.
Speaker 1:Well, and I love that she was really like calling out like specific moments where it's like, yeah, like you don't have to let the world know, you're like taking a deep breath, like this can happen to like refocus you the instant. You feel yourself kind of drifting and so you know I think you know sometimes you need to let people around you know that you need some space, but then I love, yeah, like her real tangent no, not tangent, her real tangible, that's the word I was looking for Real tangible examples of like yeah, I mean, if you're sitting right here and you just feel yourself, just take a moment and reorient your body and you don't have to let anybody else know.
Speaker 2:No, just you.
Speaker 1:Just you. Oh, so good, it's so good.
Speaker 2:That's a good one. Can't wait till she comes back.
Speaker 1:I know she is definitely always on the list. Um, when I get ready to record again and kind of batches, then I'm always like I got my list of all the folks that have come back and they keep coming back and I'm grateful for that. So Maureen is definitely on that list. So it really was. Like you know, early in my career I read a book called I think it was called bad therapy.
Speaker 1:Expert therapists share their, their worst mistakes or something like that. It was some version of that. And so when she first said, like I want to talk about the real side of therapy, where you know like good, good therapists can make mistakes and kind of the humanness and the realness of the relationship and I don't think enough people talk about that, and I was like, yeah, you know, I read this book. And she was like, no, I'm not actually talking about that, I'm talking about you and I talking about our own experiences. And I was like, oh, okay, yeah, we can do that too. And I'm so glad we did. I'm so glad we did because I think that it was something that was meaningful to us, if no one else, and I hope that listeners can enjoy it as much as we enjoyed making it for the world.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, I think it's definitely something that's valuable to be out there in the world.
Speaker 1:It's great, sarah. Thanks for coming to review, not review debrief, man. It is a. It's not even that late y'all, but for me it's like later in the day and I am jacking everything up. So we're going to just say goodbye now and Sarah I'm sure is going to come back again to share a little bit of her debriefing thoughts about some upcoming episodes. So thanks for saying yes to being here, sarah.
Speaker 2:Oh, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1:Thanks for tuning in listener. Till next time. Stay safe and stay well.
