Things You Learn in Therapy
Things You Learn in Therapy
Ep125: Nurturing Positive Body Image and Healthy Eating Habits in kids and teens with Christy Tunnell
Unlock the secrets to fostering a supportive environment for children grappling with weight and body image concerns. Join us as we engage with Christy Tunnell, a seasoned registered dietitian, who shares her professional insights and personal experiences, including those with her own daughter. Together, they unravel how societal pressures and nutritional challenges complicate conversations for parents and emphasize the importance of involving healthcare professionals in nurturing a positive body image and healthy lifestyle among children.
Discover practical strategies for cultivating healthier eating habits within families, where convenience and preparation take center stage. From preparing snacks like celery with peanut butter to discussing the impact of social media on our dietary perceptions, we explore how consistent healthy eating habits can elevate energy levels and overall well-being. The discussion extends to understanding the difference between hunger and appetite, advocating for intuitive eating, and making sustainable dietary changes rather than jumping onto restrictive diets.
As our conversation unfolds, we redefine our relationship with food, moving away from stress and societal pressures to embrace a healthier view of body image. With Christy's personal anecdotes and expert advice, we encourage parents to be approachable and non-judgmental, opening channels for honest dialogue with their children. We address food misinformation and the importance of professional guidance amidst the noise of social media diet trends, aiming to help listeners develop a positive, lasting relationship with food and body image.
This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast
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www.bethtrammell.com
Hello listener, welcome back.
Speaker 1:I'm your host, dr Beth Tramiel.
Speaker 1:I am a licensed psychologist and professor of psychology at Indiana University East, and I am really excited, both kind of personally and professionally, to talk about this topic, because it is something that I saw a lot in kind of my clinical practice, where I had conversations with parents or even individual clients about this issue, and it just feels like it's a little more complicated because of all of the messages we get in society around this topic, but then also just like the logistics of needing to make sure that you feel your body every day, and so it gets really complicated.
Speaker 1:So I reached out to my friend, christy, and said hey, can you come in, come onto the podcast and talk about how do we help kids with weight issues, how do we support them and how much emphasis do we place on dieting and weight and how do we try to kind of support them in developing a healthy body image, and so we're going to talk about those things today. So, christy, thanks for saying yes to being here and if you could introduce yourself to listeners and tell us one fun thing about you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Thank you for having me, beth. I am Christy Tunnell. I am a registered dietitian. Let's see it. One fun thing about me my students love to know that I used to work at Disney World. That's one of my favorite things to tell people. I did that while I was in college and beyond. I didn't come back afterwards. I was addicted to the Disney World bug. But I put on shows in interventions in Epcot Center.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I was going to ask if you were a Disney princess.
Speaker 2:No, I wasn't. Everyone says that. But you know what? You have to be kind of short to be either a Disney princess or a character. The only tall character is Goofy, and you can be 5'8 and above. I'm 5'8. And so, yeah, all the other ones you need to be shorter. So I didn't make that cut.
Speaker 1:but yeah, that is so fascinating. Okay, so sidebar question I often hear that Disney has among the best customer service. You know, like everybody says like it's just such a great place to work, and for me, as a person who has, like, walked through the happiest place on earth as a parent, it's not always the happiest place on earth, I don't know like I tried to make it the happiest place, but like, is that actually true as someone who works there, that that is a job, that that really does feel pretty good?
Speaker 2:Yes, it was when I was there, I will tell you. So you're saying sidebar here. I loved going when I was a kid, we went all the time that I think that was the reason I got addicted to it applied for the college program. All of that I took my daughters a few years ago and it feels different to me now, so I wasn't as impressed as I was back in the day. I don't know if that's just the difference, and you know, like you said, as a parent you have so many other stressors and things like that, but they absolutely that's what taught me. I mean, I I go to conferences and speak about customer service and preeminent, and you know that's what I learned when I was there. Did I see the same thing while I was there? You know, on the other side, you know, a couple years ago, not really. So I hate to be trash talking Disney, but it wasn't my favorite place. I, you know I said maybe we'll split our time between Disney and Universal next time.
Speaker 1:So yeah, it's so interesting it's so interesting.
Speaker 1:Okay, so this topic of kids and you know obesity or you know body image or being overweight, whatever that looks like. Part of this comes up because a lot of the questions that I used to get from parents is you know, beth, I don't know how much I'm supposed to focus on it. Should I tell them that they're? You know, they got to watch their eating. I don't want to have them develop any kind of like food complex, but you know, the doctor has kind of said they're on the upper end of overweight and so you know any of those questions like how do you first address this from like a parent perspective?
Speaker 2:Yeah, that great question. It's actually come up very recently in my own personal like you said, personal versus professional my oldest just recently grew like seven inches in a year and a half, and so you know, as you can imagine, huge body changes for her. And of course, kids tend to grow out and then up, out, and then up, out and then up. You kind of see that where they. You know I was warned about if you, I have two girls, if you have teenage boys, they'll eat you out of house and home Girls are the same way. I mean when they're eating a lot, they'll just I'm hungry, I'm hungry, I'm hungry.
Speaker 2:So her pediatrician and I work together on this because, even though I'm a professional at this, you know she was a little bit heavier, she was on the higher side, which I expected because she's very tall, and so I just went to her pediatrician alone by myself, you know she was in the other room and just said can I talk to you? And luckily we have the best doctor in the whole world, I love her dearly and she said, okay, no problem. And so how we approached it was, even though I'm the dietetic expert, it was important for her to hear it from someone else. So I think having a good relationship with your family doctor, whomever that is, maybe taking some time away from the kids to talk about it. I would never have said this in front of my oldest the kids to talk about it. I would never have said this in front of my oldest. But then that doctor came in and just did not focus at all on the weight, just said very specifically so now you're more in your adult body, this is closer to what you'll be like. This is the body that's going to take you through the rest of your life.
Speaker 2:You really want to focus on foods that have a lot of nutrition and a lot of things. You know things that are not super calorie dense but maybe they're more nutrition dense. You know fruits and vegetables and things that you like to have and, of course, the other things are fine too. It's, it's fine to have a bag of chips here and there, um, a small bag, not the whole bag, um, but the idea there being that it's okay to, and whole idea approaching it with positivity. That's what I would say.
Speaker 2:I have just counseled way, way, way too many children with eating disorders, and especially females. It's not, you know, unfortunately it's. It's not something that we focus on too much for guys, but it does happen with guys. But that's, I think you're exactly right. That's what parents get scared of is if I say, well, watch what you eat, or don't do that, or have you gotten on the scale, or you know, the next thing you know it can snowball. And so I would say, avoid all of that. I did not talk to her about her weight at all, I just waited until we went to the pediatrician to talk a little bit about it, because the next thing you know, you'll start seeing them restricting what they eat, skipping meals, and then of course, like I said, that can snowball into an eating disorder really quickly.
Speaker 1:Okay. So I think about parents who I love pulling the pediatrician in, I love our family doctor, right, and saying like, hey, we're tag teaming together, we're not here to tell you how you should eat or live your life, we're here to support you. And say, hey, like how can we support you? And having two voices beyond just a parent, right, I think about that parent who might struggle. I'm just like kind of laughing because I I can imagine myself doing this though it hasn't been my personal experience in my life yet where you know, hey, we go to the doctor today, okay, and then we talk about how, yep, we're going to eat more nutrient dense kind of foods, and then tomorrow happens and I see my kid just continuing to go to the pantry for all the things. And then I got to figure out, as a parent, how do I stop myself from being like mm-mm-mm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's tough. I hear you, yeah, and you don't want to be that parent that locks the fridge or that locks the pantry or that says, oh my gosh, is that your third? You know, yada, yada kind of a thing I would say in that particular case. I know this worked for us. I used to buy because I love a good deal. So I have to stop myself sometimes when something is a little more expensive. But you know, when you buy like the big bag of chips and the two liters of soda and all of that because it's a better price, right, I had to go to the snack size of stuff and I just I actually talked to my mom about this and just said I know it's more money, but it helps me help them understand what a serving size is, and so I stocked our.
Speaker 2:You know, we have like a little snack pantry. When my kids say they're hungry and it's in between meals, I'm like go to the snack pantry and find something easy. And of course I tried to do healthier stuff there. We have a lot of applesauces, a lot of the pouch things these days can be not just applesauce, because that's of course what I think of with a pouch, but they're like yogurt and nutrient-dense kind of things you know, mixed in blueberries and yogurt and all that stuff. Heck, I even have those for my snacks, sometimes Pouched meats, although I'm saying that with kind of a thought process.
Speaker 2:I have a friend who's like you do pouch tuna and salmon Disgusting. I'm like, okay, well, I like it, my kids like it sometimes. So, you know, with crackers or something like that. But so maybe a dual thing of kind of stocking your pantry with, again, the things that are serving sized, maybe a little bit healthier. It's okay if they're not, though, because, again, like a little bag of Cheetos, that's not that much. So you know, and helping them understand that that's a serving size really. I mean, you know what that bag of Cheetos is a serving size. Again, it's okay to have a couple If you're really hungry, you get home after school, you're ravenous, okay, a couple is fine, but we don't want to have seven or eight or nine or what would be the equivalent of the big bag kind of a thing. So that was something as a parent I had to do myself and kind of just invest in some of those smaller portions.
Speaker 1:I love that you share this idea of like teaching them about serving size. I think that that's way off balance and I mean, even in my own life I'm like, wow, I just ate seven Oreos and I don't think that's a serving size. So I love like this advice around a little bit of just, you know, swallowing that desire to find the right deal, although sometimes they have deals on those snack size things. But I'm with you. I'm usually like, hey, let's buy the big bag and put them into the little baggies.
Speaker 2:And yeah, I just found that didn't work for us. I mean, the little baggies didn't mean anything to them. They just opened seven of the little baggies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, actually true, but I think the other thing you're saying is that we also have to invest in some things that are available, that are healthier options, right? I mean, I think about how our kids don't actually have control over what we buy them, you know, and so I think recognizing that the person who is purchasing the food has to also be a part of the solution.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I agree with you completely and I'll tell you, covid really got me into the food, the grocery delivery game. I hardly ever go grocery shopping anymore. It's just not that expensive to have it delivered right to my house. I don't have to fight all the people, and so I actually ask my daughters every time that I am putting in a food order hey, I'm going to do a grocery delivery this Saturday, is there anything else you want on the list? Is there anything else we can get? And they do a really good job. They'll say do we have this? Do we can we get this? Can you add this to the list? So that works for us as well.
Speaker 1:One thing that has helped me manage my own snacking is setting out like in a little basket, like hey, here are the snacks that I'm going to maybe have today, and not even going to the pantry. So we have like kind of a giant pantry.
Speaker 1:Um, we redid our kitchen during COVID and I you know the the pantry is anyway, so opening the pantry doors is like oh you literally hear it, and so then I'm like, oh, wow, well, I could have this and this sounds delicious, because, let's be honest, you know, like the healthier snacks don't sound as good as come on, you know. So you know, I had a dietician once share with me that put the food that you know you need to eat like at eye level and kind of avoid even giving yourself the temptation of looking at other things, because the truth is, you're not maybe going to feel like eating those snacks, and so I wonder if there's room for education around that, like with our kids or our teenagers.
Speaker 2:Definitely. That dietitian was exactly right. There is. I remember one of the first things I learned when I was in school to become a dietitian was out of sight, out of mind. It sounds so silly, right? You're like, oh please, if I buy all of these snacks and I know that they're in my pantry, I'm going to know I want the, you know whatever, you know Oreos, cheetos, as we've kind of said but that's just not what we see is true. You know, if you actually literally one of the first things we tell people trying to change their behavior is put stuff away behind a door, behind a cabinet, but just don't leave your chips on the countertop, for example. Put it in a cabinet instead. And, like you've said, very good, that you have kind of that bowl of snacks that you should go to, because that's what you're going to see and that's what your mind is first going to come up with. And you're like, okay, I need to get the apple, or I need to do the you know, applesauce or whatever it is that you're trying to have throughout the day. So, yeah, absolutely, have throughout the day. So yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And convenience is king these days. So you know, I know you were talking about taking the big bag of chips and putting into the small ones. That didn't work well for us. But what does work well for us is taking, like the container, you know the whole thing of celery and breaking it down into the little baggies that the girls can grab, actually making it with the peanut butter already and putting it into a you know a container that they can just grab. That that works well for them and for me as well. So I mean, it's just if it's already cut up and I'm like, okay, there's nothing I have to do except literally put it in my mouth. I'm much more likely to have celery and peanut butter than I am the Cheetos or the Oreos kind of a thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that recommendation. And another thing that I noticed like, for example, on a weekend or if in the summertime, when the kids are at home all day is, if I leave anything on the counter, it will get eaten by someone, right? It's a little bit like you know anyway. So what I've tried to be better at is making sure you know. Like, for example, like right now we have a bag of gummy worms that were left on the counter after we went to the store and somebody just kind of left them out. And even I find myself walking past and, just like you know, grabbing one or two out because it's right there and so trying to have like a bowl of already cut up fruit, like it doesn't help to have a bowl of a banana that you have to like to your point if it's ready to just put in your mouth. So, cutting up an apple or cutting up some oranges, or having some berries sitting out, my kids and even my husband and I will just sort of like snack as you walk past.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah, and you're right. I mean, berries is a great example of something that you don't really have to cut up, so it's easy to put it in a bowl, you know, rinse them off, and I know you know when your food comes in. Yes, that's, you have to kind of invest that time for sure, because I was like the person that, ok, it comes in, so I've just spent. I get the grocery delivery on Saturday. I have to spend all day Sunday prepping food, but if you're really trying to make a difference, you're investing in that time. So think about it like yes, I may take a couple of hours, whatever day is good for everybody Sunday, monday, it doesn't matter but then you don't have to invest any of the time later You're just grabbing the stuff, you're eating it, you're full, it's delicious, you feel better.
Speaker 2:I mean, the better you eat, the better you're going to feel. That's the other thing I talk to my daughters about a lot. We don't say good and bad food in my house ever, and that's one of the things we try and teach as a dietician. There's no such thing as bad food. Oreos and Cheetos aren't bad food. I mean, if they make you happy and you feel good, enjoy it. You only live once, kind of a thing, but but you know you're going to feel better and this is one of the things that the pediatrician and I said to my daughter the better you eat, the better you're going to feel. Those empty calories don't give you great energy, they don't make you feel wonderful, they don't give you.
Speaker 2:I mean kids, teenagers are worried about their skin, for example. You know, having beautiful skin and not having outbreaks and things like that, junk food is more likely to cause outbreaks. So you know, the better you eat, the more you know water that you consume it's going to make your skin better. And so you know, if you have a teenager that's worried about their sports performance, that's a huge one, because it isn't just dump all these calories in and expect you to perform really well at sports. I mean, my kids are not sport inclined, they're more, I would say, mechanically and computer inclined. So I don't worry about that with them. But for parents who are saying like, yeah, this is going to be your future, you're really good at volleyball, basketball, football, whatever it is, you have to put that good fuel in or they're not going to see those good results.
Speaker 1:I have said this to my teenagers around their you know athletic performance, that you know what do you think elite athletes are going to eat today? Or you know how much do you think elite athletes are eating or not eating at at this time, you know. And so I I love the advice of kind of saying like, hey, you're your sports mentor or your sports hero. What do they eat? Now my son has found that some of his sports heroes are eating a lot of fast food, and so I'm like, well, actually, let me pull that back, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hold on a second. But yeah, I bet they are, and you know it's so social media these days, right, it's.
Speaker 2:I mean we talked about how tricky it can be for everyone. I'm sure it is for professional athletes as well. It could be they're eating that McDonald's or Burger King or whatever in front of people. I guarantee that's not what they're eating behind the scenes. I mean, one of the things we did even way back when I was doing my internship well, not that far back, but when I was doing my internship to become a dietitian was we toured, you know, the Colts Arena and one of my great friends is the Dallas Cowboys dietitian and they're not eating that on a regular basis, I guarantee it, because it couldn't fuel what they're getting paid millions of dollars to do. I mean it just, of course, on a random, you know, thursday afternoon that I had to run through the drive-th through and grab something because, it's true, athletes eat a lot. I mean, when we look at the Olympics are on right now, right, and my daughters and I were watching it the other day and cheering and getting all excited those people eat a huge amount of calories but they burn a huge amount of calories, you know. I mean you shouldn't be eating 6,000 calories a day and sitting on your computer all day. If you're going to eat 6,000 calories a day, you're probably going to be burning 3,000 of those calories while you're swimming or gymnastics or something like that. So I guarantee that their idols are not eating that way on a regular basis.
Speaker 2:And one of the things they shared with us that I thought was really helpful was in professional athletics in the past, football for example, if you're a lineman, you are there to stop people from coming through. So you know, they said 30, 40 years ago we would tell people hey, you're a lineman, the season is starting, go put on 40 pounds. And we didn't care what kind of 40 pounds, Just put on 40 pounds. You need to stop somebody. Now we have all kinds of tools to help them put on the right 40 pounds. Now we have all kinds of tools to help them put on the right 40 pounds. And so you know the different ways that we can figure out. I want you to put on 10 pounds of muscle and 12 pounds of this. You know kind of a thing.
Speaker 2:So again, professional sports and even the Olympics. You know, now professionals can compete in the Olympics. So it's changed. And sports dietitians that's not my area of expertise, but I know several sports dietitians and they are really specific about how they get certain things in, all the way down to not just calories or protein, but fiber and micronutrients, like you talked about with berries and things like that. So you need more B12, you need more vitamin A, you need more vitamin D, that kind of a thing.
Speaker 1:Wow, I mean I think about how complicated that can get to have to be really focused on the right foods to put in your body, yeah, yeah Well, and you know, you think about it.
Speaker 2:They're professional athletics not the Olympians, but professional athletes. They're getting paid millions of dollars to do it. It's their job. I mean, that's, you know, like you have to think about your job and where you're going to make your money and where's my next role in my job. That's their job is to, you know, work out and do those things. So yeah, and they get paid very well to do it most of the time.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and so their investment is to keep their body in the best working order.
Speaker 2:As long as they can, yeah, as working order, and as long as they can, yeah, as long as they can.
Speaker 1:Right, and I love that. I mean it almost. It does sort of mimic the conversation that your doctor had with with your daughter. Right, you are kind of making an investment in the future of your body and I, I think we take for granted and I I know you know anyone listening with kind of a chronic body issue, whether it's a chronic illness or a chronic pain. I know that we're thinking like, darn, I wish I would have taken better care of my body or I wish that I would have appreciated how my body worked, you know, years ago, weeks ago, whatever that might look like. A couple of like really specific questions, right, should we encourage calorie counting?
Speaker 2:I would say no, especially for children. I would never. I rarely encourage calorie counting, even for my adult clients. It's a lot, right, I mean it's it's. Think of all the things you have to do during the day, right? I mean you know you have double the amount of children I do. So I can imagine your life is double the chaoticness, probably, unless you've learned to manage it better. So, um, but the idea is, you have so much to do during the day, why add that extra thing? That is no fun. No one likes it. I mean, you're not going to tell me someone. I mean maybe a few mathematicians out there listening are like oh my God, it's my favorite thing to count my calories. Okay, go for it. If you love it, do it, but for the rest of us it's like oh, it's just, you know, a tick markup and a tick markup and a tick markup. I really wouldn't, and especially for kids. Let's not think about it in calories Again, think about it in serving sizes and not necessarily the serving sizes that are on the label.
Speaker 2:I like the serving sizes being on the label. I think that's a good way that we went to labeling things so people can better understand their food. But for example, I think, on ice cream. I know my youngest is really into ice cream cones these days, so she loves that for her desserts every evening. I think it's like three quarters of a cup or something like that is the serving. I mean, I don't worry about that, it's whatever fits in the cone and what I can get on there, but one cone full of ice cream is a serving for us. So that makes more sense. And just realizing you don't want to have six of those, you want to have one. Or you know, maybe on a great day maybe you have two, kind of a thing. So I would focus on more what a serving size makes sense for your family, kind of a thing. If you're serving dinner and you plate everybody's food up and then some of your kids come back for seconds, that's okay. But maybe talking about not going back for thirds or fourths unless they're in a growth spurt, that's the other thing. For thirds or fourths, unless they're in a growth spurt, that's the other thing.
Speaker 2:My pediatrician also said as long as your child doesn't have a developmental disability of some sort, they'll never starve themselves. So don't worry about if they're eating like a bird one day or if they're eating three times the amount the next day, and that was a hard thing for me as a parent and a dietician. Oh my God, I feel like they're eating me out of house and home right now. Well, it always is followed by this growth spurt that they're having. I mean, the next thing I know I'll look at them and they'll be two inches taller, I feel like.
Speaker 2:And so you know, letting them have control over that as well and not shaming them, the number one thing I can tell parents there should be no, no, no shame when it comes to food whatsoever. It's the fuel we put in our body. We have to have it. We can't live without it.
Speaker 2:I tell my students sometimes you know you need water and air. When was the last time someone said, oh my God, I binged on so much air the other day? I breathe so much air you can't even believe it. I mean I breathe more air than everyone else in this room. You know, no one ever. I mean we don't have any shame associated with that.
Speaker 2:So why would we have shame associated with our food? Because that's where you start to really, like you said to your point, get into body image issues or get into restriction, and you know as much as we. We look, we've eaten since we were born, right. So people tend to think they're they're expert on food. They're not, I mean, believe me. That's why I say, as a dietician everyone thinks they're an expert on food. We're not, though, you know, unless you have the training to understand, kind of, and to your point too, the psychological issues behind it. Let's just get away from all of that negativity around food. It's necessary to live, so, you know, let's think about it that way, just like air and water and sleep and those things that we don't have any shame around.
Speaker 1:And I just think there's so much shame around food and body and you know, I've gained, you know, 10 pounds and now I've got a role in a place where I don't want to roll and people are going to see me and I mean, yuck, there's so much yuck.
Speaker 2:And associated with. Now I'm a bad person, I'm terrible, I'm lazy, I'm bad because I have that extra 10 pounds. None of that is true. You're a human being who was hungry and decided you wanted to have some of that stuff, and for whatever reason. I mean food is also a comfort. Sometimes. You know, if it's made by someone you love, it reminds you of your grandparents or your you know family, or a fun day at the zoo or whatever it was that you had. Enjoy those things. I'm a big proponent of. You made your great grandmother's German chocolate cake. Enjoy it the whole time. You have every piece of that German chocolate cake. Enjoy every moment of it. Maybe not make it every single week, or you know something like that. Enjoy every moment of it. Maybe not make it every single week or something like that, but enjoy it, savor it type of a thing and realize I'm just not going to eat this way all the time. I'm going to enjoy it while I have it on my plate.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love this. Two more specific questions. Yes, I think you said that like we didn't focus on weight at all, we just the next time we went back to the pediatrician then they got weight there. So should we encourage kids to be on the scale? How frequently should they get on a scale? Should it be about weight at all?
Speaker 2:I don't think. So I mean, I will tell you what works really well again, since I'm going through it not only as a dietitian but also as a mom. I don't even know how much my daughter weighs. In fact she wanted. She asked my mom for a Fitbit for her birthday. So my mom bought her a Fitbit.
Speaker 2:I was programming it for her the other day and I literally I know how tall she is because she's almost as tall as me at 12 years old, which is crazy. So I was able to put in. You know, she's like an inch shorter than me, but I showed her the weight. I said I think this is your weight. I can't remember last time we were at the doctor Is this close? And she goes, I don't even know. And I'm like, okay, I mean fair enough, kind of a thing. So we just put in what I could remember and we called it. From there I just I don't think there's any. What? In my opinion, what does it matter what my daughter weighs, you know, kind of a thing. Again, I saw that she was getting a little bit heavy. She has now grown a couple of inches and she's definitely lost some weight too, to the point of where I think she's getting tired of me saying now you're not restricting your meals on purpose, right? I mean, because that was one of the things. I had to kind of double check and I checked with her father okay, when she's at your house she's not restricting her meals, and he's like no, she's at your house she's not restricting her meals and he's like no, but she's not eating as much. I think that was just a natural progression. I honestly don't think she was restricting, which of course made me feel better. It's just she wasn't as hungry. You know, she's not going through that growth spurt.
Speaker 2:So I don't know that there's any reason to focus on the weight. And I'm honestly thinking, unless your child is underweight, even if they're overweight, I wouldn't focus on the weight. So let's say they're, you know, let's say they're 30 pounds overweight. I still don't see the point in saying to them you're 157 and you should be 125. That just adds to again the calorie counting idea. And if they're underweight, that's a whole different story. I do have a friend of mine who just told me his daughter is in recovery from an eating disorder. She was doing really well but now she's starting to drop the weight again. That's a different story because children can have all the issues from not getting enough nutrition. So you need to kind of work with your family doctor on that particular case. But regular weight or overweight, I just don't see the point in focusing on the scale.
Speaker 1:Well, it's actually a lead into, kind of the last question I had, and then obviously I'll ask if you have any other things you want to share. But you know, for me I have struggled with weight issues my whole life. Um, you know, since I was in fourth grade I was about the same size in my hips and my body. It's interesting that the pediatrician told your 12-year-old like, hey, this is about the body you're going to have, and no one told me that I kind of wish they would have, because it was about that same time where I have kind of been the same body. Anyway, I have been on just about every diet, every calorie counter, every weight schedule, weigh yourself every day and then track it and see the progress, or don't see the progress, which is true for me a lot of the time.
Speaker 1:The process because, to your point, we need food to live the process of losing weight is very, very hard. And you know, my last question is like how do we keep our kids motivated when it's like they're hungry, they're growing, they have to eat something? You know, maybe they're a slightly picky eater and so you know, for me, like I don't eat anything that swims. This is sort of my, my running joke with my friends I don't eat anything that lives in the water and I really don't eat a lot of protein that lives on land. I, I just don't eat a lot of meat and I don't eat any fish or seafood, and I know that those foods are. A big part of having a healthy diet is to have protein and, you know, from from either fish or or other sort of meat product, and so it can be very easy to just what's the point here, mom, you know, like why do I got it? I've been eating healthy for, you know, two weeks or three days and I've gained three pounds. What is that bull crap?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the good thing for kids. So kids versus you, we'll talk about two separate categories here because, believe me, I know you and I are similar age, so I totally get the struggle 100%. So kids metabolism is so much higher than ours, in the sense of, you're right, no one told us same thing. I, you know, had to start wearing a bra in the third grade and when I would go to gym class I was so embarrassed and you know, so, same as what you're saying, I was the taller, bigger, you know, more filled out girl kind of my whole life and have been thinner, have been heavier, all of those types of things for kids. Their metabolism is going to help them burn that off quite a bit. And so I would say one of the things that we really love to focus on these days and I don't know, this is kind of the newer movement, although it should have always been the movement, but I'm sure you've heard the term mindful eating before One of the things we talk about is honoring your hunger, not your appetite per se.
Speaker 2:Hunger and appetite are two different things and I always describe this, as you know, to my students. I'll say you know, hunger is, it's noon, I haven't had anything to eat for a few hours. My stomach is rumbling. I need to eat something. Appetite is oh. Then I walked a class through the food court and that pizza smelled delicious, or those chicken tenders were. You know, I really should have those chicken tenders too. That's appetite and that's learned, you know. I mean what we smell, what we like, what we you know, kind of a thing. So I would say, starting to teach your kids again this is a newer concept, even for my daughters as well. But honoring that hunger Are you hungry? My daughters will sometimes in the summer get up and not eat until 11 or 12 because they're just not hungry, and that's okay. You know, breakfast is very important. I'm not going to say they should be skipping breakfast, but you know, if they're not thinking about it, if it's not on their mind, if they get up and start, you know, going outside and doing something else and they don't get hungry till 11, then honor that hunger, part of it. That helps with weight loss as well. Not thinking so much about it's eight, I should eat, it's noon, I should eat, it's five, I should eat, kind of a thing. And that gets me back into kind of what you were saying, even for the adults. Then too, you you've mentioned a couple of times and I agree with you.
Speaker 2:I see so many of my clients saying this. It's just like food is such a burden to them and I hate that. I mean I hate that thinking about what is my next meal going to be? Is it going to be healthy? Do I need to feel badly about it? Should I? You know how much should I have? Let's just get away from all of that and go back to kind of honoring what we're hungry for. If I'm hungry for macaroni and cheese tonight, it's not the best choice, but hey, there's nothing wrong with it either. So enjoy the macaroni and cheese and then tomorrow night I can focus on this or or um, you know.
Speaker 2:And the other thing is, I know I think about food differently because I'm a dietitian. But, like you said you mentioned protein You're not a huge meat eater Me neither. I actually went vegan for a month to try and see more of what my clients went through. I always tell people I chose February because I'm not a dummy. I mean, it was the shortest month of the year but I, so shopping was the hardest thing, even for a diet I had been a dietitian for years.
Speaker 2:At that point and, um, going shopping and re, you know even different flavors of things Like I would choose something that was vegan and then I would go, okay, well, let me get this in three flavors. I'd get at home and be like, oh, this flavor has milk or whey or you know some derivative in there. Um, so I could easily give up meat. It wasn't the problem, it was the cheese and things like that that I didn't want to give up. So, uh, but thinking about the quality of our food has gotten to factor in there somewhere and and I don't mean cause I'm going to say this and then you know you're going to have busy parents out there going, oh great.
Speaker 2:One more thing I have to think about on it, but it's do it slowly. I mean, take one category at a time. One part of your pantry or macronutrients are your carbs, proteins and fats. Take one macronutrient at a time and try and make sure you're getting good quality of those foods and just slowly replace things. That's okay. I mean, it's not a race.
Speaker 2:I always say to people think about it this way. If you were to lose one pound a week, which is very doable, and let's say we just throw out all the holiday weeks, right? So we're not even going to count like Christmas and Thanksgiving and July 4th and all those cookouts and everything like that. You lose somewhere around 45 to 50 pounds this coming year and, and one pound a week is doable. So really small changes are okay. You didn't. I think we all think we have to buy the farm. When it comes to, I'm going to clean out my pantry and throw everything away, cause that's what all the social media and all the shows tell us, right? I mean, biggest loser is like come in and throw out everything in your pantry, and no, I mean find a few things that you can kind of change over, a few snacks that you can do differently each week and kind of work on that.
Speaker 1:I love this push towards small changes. I mean, obviously the problem with dieting is that it's not sustainable, of course, absolutely. And so you know I was on this, you know, a lifestyle diet where they, like you know, push that this is a lifestyle and it's not a diet, but it's like it's still a diet, cause I'm not eating the same food that I would eat for the rest of my life, you know, and unless I'm going to buy this supplement for the rest of my life, it's still not going to be like a lifestyle change, you know. So I love your push toward kind of creating healthy habits, like creating healthy relationships with food.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's huge. I mean, until we kind of heal that we're never going to, we're never going to fix the problem we have with food, because it's a healing process, right, if you've been told I mean especially again, you and I are close to the same age If we've been told our whole lives that we should be ashamed of our bodies, that we should be ashamed of the food choices, that you know, if you go to McDonald's and have, you know, mcdonald's lunch that you're a failure, that's not. That's beyond the food. That has nothing to do with the food. That has to do with our relationship with it. Like you said I love that term and healing that relationship. You know it's.
Speaker 2:It's okay to have a McDonald's I'm here to tell you I'm a dietician. It's don't don't cut the sound bite out and just blast it everywhere. But it's okay to have McDonald's every now and then. Okay to have McDonald's every now and then, right, I mean, there's nothing wrong with that. And you're not a failure because you did it. And you're not a failure as a mom or a dad or a aunt or uncle or grandparent because you do it sometimes. That's not a failure. You needed to eat. Your kids needed to eat, you fed them. That's a win, you know, in my book.
Speaker 2:So just think about the ways that you cannot eat McDonald's maybe every day, or the ways that okay, I see that we're entering, you know, softball season and, oh my gosh, we've had McDonald's three times this week because our lives are crazy.
Speaker 2:What can I think about, maybe going into next week that I can change that up a little bit, like pre-prepare foods or make my own? You know, I always joke that I've never had a Big Mac or I don't eat red meat, so I've never had a Big Mac or a Whopper. But I look at those and I think what are they injecting into that for those calories? I mean, if I made a hamburger at home or a cheeseburger at home, even with double the meat it wouldn't be nearly that many calories. So maybe you pre-prepare cheeseburgers at home and stick them in the freezer. I mean, there's so many great sites out there for food hacks like that where you can kind of pre-prepare things and then you just pull them out and now you've got half the amount of calories you would have had from McDonald's or Burger King or wherever.
Speaker 1:You know, if there's one thing that I can think about for this whole episode that you're sharing is this shift from being really uptight, really stressed about like the weight in their body and the food and how I should you know every little thing they put in their mouth and I should be watching it as their parent and this is my way of, you know, protecting them and loving them is to be like real stressed about it, and I think the thing I continue to hear from you is like the opposite of that is like, okay, let's just like heal our relationship with food, let's shift our perspective around food, that these certain foods are bad, or you can't have them, or we need to like, oh, every single thing we eat, or do we have to think about how that is a part of the plan or not a part of the plan?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're right. I mean I would say let all that go. And I would tell anybody that from you know, one to 100, as they say, let it go. It's too, it's too much. I mean it's it we have. Our lives are so stressful these days and we have so much crammed into such a small amount of time.
Speaker 2:And I know my parents did a fantastic job with me, but the advice they were getting from the pediatrician and all of those people was, as you know, I mean was to watch my weight and to, and so I did develop a bit of a complex and, going through my profession, I had to heal that. You know, I'm not a bad person because I have that extra role. I'm not a bad, I'm not a good person because I don't. You know, I mean that's the other side of that. You know little memes and things that you have. You know, one of the things I love I have it on my page is your weight will fluctuate, your self-worth won't? I mean, that's true, I mean, and that's going to happen. And you know, one of the things that I think about too, is this new body positivity movement.
Speaker 2:And I ask my students a lot because of course, they're a different generation than me, I'll say so, tell me, when I was growing up it was all about being thin, I mean, and we didn't have social media the way that we do now. So it was magazines and TV commercials, and I know you guys don't really consume those things much anymore, but is there still that focus on being so thin? And overwhelmingly they say yes. See, I was thinking, maybe not, because we've gone through this. You know, it's okay, it's beautiful at any size, and you've seen companies, kind of even Victoria's secret, which was one of the harshest before, has now embraced kind of plus size models and and that kind of a thing, but they say, no, I mean, it's still okay, that's fine, it can be a plus size model, but it's still. The ideal is a size two or four, which I can't even imagine fitting into. I probably haven't been an actual size two since I was in second grade, maybe, maybe not even then, I'm not sure.
Speaker 1:So I feel like I went from like a six youth to like a women's 12.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but my daughter definitely did Believe me. We just lived through that and me trying to buy clothes in the winter to keep her body covered and warm. I mean I know what you mean. It was like, okay, oh, now we're in tens, now we're in 12. Now we're you know. So, yes, it's, but none of that should be stressing parents out. There is so much more to stress about with your kids. Believe me, I get it, you know. So I would say I mean I've had times where after Easter I'll notice my daughters ate half the bag of jelly beans in one sitting. I mean I'm just not going to stress about that stuff, it works itself out. Brush your teeth afterwards.
Speaker 2:So you don't get cavities from all that sugar. You know kind of a thing Are they going to be on? Kind of a quote unquote sugar high for 10 minutes, sure, until their blood sugar drops and then they probably need to take a nap. So stressing about your kids is not a love language, I'm going to tell you right now. It just isn't. And that is tough for a lot of parents to feel because, you know, social media affects us too. We see every other parent being perfect. I guarantee that's not the truth behind the scenes. But and as a dietician my kids aren't perfect. I mean I can tell you, like I said, half a bag of jelly beans. We had Wendy's last night for dinner. I mean, I'll admit these things. It's just, I'm just not going to stress about that. You know they were hungry, they wanted Wendy's. We got it as a treat and now they'll have something better for dinner today. Kind of a thing.
Speaker 1:I mean I just appreciate that. I know listeners do too. You know I have shared various things throughout my career and it's sometimes the things that people come back to or they tell me like, well, if Dr Beth can do it, you know, if Dr Beth yells at her kids or if Dr Beth has a kid who you know what I mean. I just think hearing an expert who says there's no bad foods, like just take a breath from it, I just I just appreciate you coming today to share not only your expertise but your story, because I think that is obviously the expertise is what we all want to hear, but it's also the story that makes it so relatable, and so thanks for coming to share that today.
Speaker 2:I'm happy to and and you know I can get for. For your listeners out there that might be like oh okay, is every dietitian just going to say whatever you want, I, I can get very nuanced and I can get very specific with you. Know someone who comes to me with a very specific issue or I want to eat clean, or I want to. You know, I want to do some diet. That I'm rolling my eyes because, you're right, they're not sustainable. I'll help them figure out what would fit into that. I probably won't be like let's do it long but but yeah, I can do all of those things. And so don't think every dietitian out there is just going to tell you eat whatever you want because our profession would be so easy. We just say get food, put it in your mouth and call it a day. Why'd I have to go to school for this? But? But I just don't see any reason for busy, stressed parents and children these days to get caught in those nuances. I just think it's much more important to have a healthy relationship with the food, have a healthy relationship with each other. I mean, think about how many kids will tell you that they had a bad relationship with their parents because of that. Every time my mom saw me put something in my mouth, every time my dad saw me get into the cabinet, he made a disapproving face or something like that. That harms your relationship with your kids too. I don't want my kids to think of me as the food Nazi. I just I don't, you know.
Speaker 2:And so I want them to know they can and they'll say to me we say, is this a healthy choice? I don't say that to them. They say it to me, like my daughters, I've noticed over the years, will say, like mom, I had a banana. Is that a healthy choice? And I'm like, yeah, bananas are great for you, you know, and we kind of go from there. So, um, but no disapproving looks from me.
Speaker 2:No, I find the jelly beans half empty and, you know, go on a rampage. I just say okay, because that's going to hurt my relationship with them. And let's think about the other things. We want our kids to come in and tell us. I mean, you know, you know, because you have teenagers older than my kids, I want them to come to me when they have some sort of a dilemma drugs, sex, you know things going on at school. I don't want them to think of me as a disapproving parent. I want them to think of me as well. Mom's always been there for me before I guess I can ask her about this, so that I think that's way more important than any food choice is going to be.
Speaker 1:I love that we're sort of wrapping here, because you know, the other thing that I preach a lot is like to be an askable parent. You know that you want to exactly what you're saying. I would much rather them feel like I'm not going to judge them or make a face at them or whatever that. Whatever they're going through, I'm not going to judge them or make a face at them or whatever that. Whatever they're going through, I'm an askable parent. I can be somebody they could be like. Well, I don't know, you know I this is really a sidebar but my I'm teaching my second child now how to drive and oh my God, I'm so worried I may have to call you back and do a podcast about how to drive with your kids.
Speaker 2:I'm so worried about it.
Speaker 1:I could do a whole episode on, like the level of anxiety that I didn't know lived in me until I started sitting in the passenger seat with my daughter who is amazing and she's a great driver but it it like brought out a beast in me that I was like, wow, I really need therapy about this. So, anyway, my son, it was the very first day that we got behind the wheel. You know we were just sort of practicing in the parking lot and you know he was, he was doing great, he was feeling really confident. He was like I am him. You know I was like, bro, you're going 12 miles an hour and uh, but anyway, I was like, yeah, you're doing great, you know, you're learning how to push the brake, you're learning how to like push the gas.
Speaker 1:And so, you know, we just we were like practicing the turn signals. You know I was like okay, it's over there. And you know he was like okay, so this is left and this is right, and where's the straight one? And I was like there's not a straight one. He was like oh, yeah, that's right, that's right. You know what a dumb question, you know. But like, even for him to like those are the sorts of things that in those tiny moments we want for them to feel safe enough with us to like even flub up and ask a question where you're like there's no straight turn signal.
Speaker 2:Right, you just, you just keep going straight, honey. Yeah, eight turn signal, right you just you just keep going straight, honey.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I love him. You know, it was like he was so flustered and he was like trying to learn the whole car. I mean it was. It was really cute actually, anyway, yeah, so be an askable parent, don't be as stressed about it. And I think if you're feeling, if there's a listener who's feeling really stressed about it already, then I think what I hear you saying is partner with you. Know your pediatrician, a family doctor, and maybe they can refer, maybe they can refer you to a dietitian in your area.
Speaker 2:Absolutely I would. I always advocate going to a dietitian. Our family doctor is just very she's about my age but she's very open and she's very teachable in the sense of because a lot of doctors out there they have. We always say doctors have one nutrition class. I mean that's what they had to take in their undergrad. They don't remember it.
Speaker 2:Your family doctor operates. That may not be your very best partner, but ask them can you refer me to a dietitian? Because it just depends on how your family doctor operates. Everyone is different out there but they should never be telling you no because there's going to be a dietitian in your area somewhere with your health network, that kind of a thing. So hey, I was listening to this podcast. They said I should ask you about a dietitian. They can write you a referral If you have to have a referral for insurance. It just depends on how insurances work. Some places do free dietetics in their community because it's a community benefit, so it works for that health network. You know there are private pays. So for anyone out there who's thinking money is no object, good for you and so you can do a private pay dietitian as well.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I am a huge advocate of dietitians. Not only is it my profession, of course, chosen, but what? Dietitians are just great people. I mean I love working with dietitians, I send my students out to with preceptors and you know they, just they know their stuff.
Speaker 2:I mean again, just because you've been eating since you were born doesn't make you a food expert, and I think a lot of people think they are. The other thing is, just because somebody dieted on social media and lost 10 pounds or took this supplement and lost 50 pounds, doesn't mean they're an expert either. And in this day and age of Ozempic and Manjaro and all of those Wagovi and all of those different things, I think people are saying, oh now I'm an expert because I took this injectable and then I you know that's not true either. So you know I'm not saying you should take the injectables. I think they're a great new tool that we have out there to help people. But still partner with a dietician so that you heal that relationship, because taking something that makes you not hungry anymore is not the answer to all of our problems. I mean, we still need to eat.
Speaker 1:You still need to eat to live, yes, okay. Well, we could keep going for a long time and I know there's so much more to say about this, but I just appreciate your time this morning and the way that you shared and listener. I am thankful for you that you took the time to be here to listen in and hopefully you got a nugget or two and if you have, you know, questions or feedback, I know Christy would be open to hearing from you. I would also be open to hearing. I can pass along any questions with Christy. So thanks for listening and stay safe and stay well out there. Thanks, christy, yeah.
