Things You Learn in Therapy
Things You Learn in Therapy
Ep 144: ADHD Myths, Facts, And Next Steps
Think focus is just willpower? We challenge that idea with a clear, evidence-based guide to ADHD that bridges home, school, and the doctor’s office. I walk through what changed from ADD to ADHD, why girls and adults are often missed, and how interest-driven attention can make games feel easy while homework feels impossible. You’ll hear why that pattern is normal for an ADHD brain and how to design tasks that are more engaging, structured, and doable.
We also get honest about treatment. I share when medication can help a child become available for learning, how behavioral strategies build lasting habits, and why the best outcomes often come from combining both. From visual schedules and movement breaks to daily report cards and short feedback loops, we map practical steps that teachers and parents can put in place without turning home into a battleground. Along the way, we address a tough truth: untreated ADHD can lead to peer rejection and a damaging story of being the “bad kid.” Early intervention can change that trajectory and protect a child’s confidence.
If you’ve wondered why a bright child melts down over simple routines, or if you’re an adult realizing these patterns sound familiar, this conversation offers a starting point you can trust. We highlight resources from Florida International University’s ADHD programs, discuss how to talk with your physician or pediatrician, and lay out what to track as you try supports or a careful medication trial. Join us, share this with someone who needs it, and help replace shame with understanding and action. If this helped, follow the show, leave a quick review, and tell us the biggest ADHD myth you want debunked next.
Here is the link to the TEDx Talk I referenced by Dr. Katie Hart - https://youtu.be/G5zQULkVuiQ
This podcast is meant to be a resource for the general public, as well as fellow therapists/psychologists. It is NOT meant to replace the meaningful work of individual or family therapy. Please seek professional help in your area if you are struggling. #breakthestigma #makewordsmatter #thingsyoulearnintherapy #thingsyoulearnintherapypodcast
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health concerns, please contact 988 or seek a treatment provider in your area.
www.bethtrammell.com
Hey there, friend. Uh welcome back. I'm your host, Dr. Buck Tramau. I'm a psychologist and a professor of psychology at Indiana University East. And I just want to have a quick little episode here. Sometimes, I'll be honest, I overthink things. And so that's why sometimes there isn't an episode for you each week. And uh I'm gonna try to stop doing that because it is actually something that I would encourage clients to do is to not overthink things. And so here we are. So listen, hey, uh October is ADHD awareness month. And I thought it might be good to sneak in an episode uh to try to raise a bit of awareness around ADHD. So ADHD is sometimes also called ADD. Um, ADD is the former kind of string of letters that we used to uh call this disorder that we often diagnose in children, but we are growing in our fidelity at diagnosing adults with ADHD. So um that's kind of the first thing to realize that ADD and ADHD are the same thing. There really is no such thing as ADD anymore. There is ADHD that kind of lives without the hyperactive part, but we still call it ADHD. The other thing is that ADHD isn't just about young kids anymore. So that's another myth that folks often think well, ADHD is just a diagnosis for uh usually little boys or little kids. It is diagnosed more frequently in boys than in girls, but it's also that it often manifests in boys in a more noticeable way than in girls. And so that's why we often uh diagnose it more in boys because they tend to be a little more squirrely, more hyperactive. They may have more problems in school. I was recently um watching a TED talk that I'll link in the notes here. Katie Hart at Florida International University. Uh, I actually really love the resources that FIU puts out. I get their monthly newsletter, and they usually have some great opportunities for parents, great opportunities for research. They have a really well-known summer treatment program for kids and teens with ADHD. And so if you're looking for a resource, they would be a great place. And she did a TED talk that talked about myths around ADHD. And um, I think a lot of them were really good for us to kind of ponder. You know, she starts by talking about how ADHD, um, there's a myth that ADHD doesn't exist. And I hear this a lot too from teachers and parents that they say, hey, well, my kid can stay really focused if they're reading um, you know, a book that they're really into, or if they play a video game. And so they must not have ADHD because they can stay focused and do, you know, things like this for a really long amount of time. And that myth actually isn't true because what we know about ADHD is that it's not necessarily just about they can't sit still for very long. It's also about paying attention to the right thing. We uh have trouble sometimes when we have ADHD in focusing in on the things that we're supposed to focus on instead of the things that we really want to focus on, right? So researchers talk about it as, you know, those things that are rewarding, like a book or Fortnite or a video game or their iPad. Those things are really rewarding. Not to mention, screens are also, uh, yeah, we could talk about that and how those screens um kind of hijack a young child's brain. But aside from that, um, that'll be kind of a different conversation. But aside from that, it also is something that they're interested in. And so any of us can stay focused on things we're interested in. It is the things we're not interested in that may become a more challenging, uh, especially for kids with ADHD. Another um struggle that we sometimes see with myths around ADHD is that medication is the only answer. And actually, this comes up in her TED talk if you watch it. And I actually am curious about her reaction because uh one of the things she says is that behavioral strategies are uh often the first line of defense for ADHD. And she quotes kind of this really common quote that pills don't teach skills. And while I agree with her that pills don't teach skills, um, with you know, the sentiment is that giving a child a pill is not going to teach them how to, you know, play more appropriately with their peers or not say a curse word in the middle of math class. I think that is sort of true, except that those pills do help regulate that child's behavior so that then we can teach those skills. So I think it's a real myth. I would actually say it's kind of a myth that pills don't teach skills, because I actually believe pills for some children, I'm not saying it's for every child, but I am saying that for some children who we have tried teaching the skills and their ADHD is unable to be managed with behavioral therapy, that sometimes the medication can be the right line of defense so that their behavior will regulate and then we can teach those skills. I think at the end of the day, every case is really unique. But if a child is really struggling to learn the new skills, it may be a good route to try medication first. And the sooner we can try medication, in my opinion, or sooner we find effective treatment, right? Whether it's meds or it's behavior therapy, the sooner we can intervene, the better. Because what happens for a lot of kids with ADHD is that they start to experience impairment or negative things going on with their peer relationships, right? So peer rejection is often a side impact for children with ADHD. And so what happens for kids if we don't intervene early is that they begin to have these relationships with peers that are negative and friends don't like them, friends make fun of them, friends reject them, then they start to have this internal narrative that I'm a bad kid, I'm a bad boy, a bad girl, my friends don't like me, right? And so some of those narratives become something that we may be able to have prevented if we would have intervened sooner. And so when I have kiddos that I'm working with, particularly in a school uh setting, if I can connect with parents and help them understand the importance of trying to prevent that narrative, uh, I try to make that as clear as possible. And so um, it's not just the ADHD, it's not just that they can't sit still, it's that it impacts their social relationships and then it also impacts their academic performance and their academic progress. If they are struggling to pay attention to what the teacher is saying, teachers are equipped with the tools and schools are kind of set up for children to be growing and learning every day at a certain pace. And whether we like it or not, that pace is what it is. And um, teachers aren't don't really have the luxury to meet every single child's need every single day, all day long, right? So they teach you know this lesson to a group of children because that's how schools are set up. And so if you have a child that repeatedly is being sent out of the classroom, or if a child is repeatedly um missing a lot of instruction, it is going to have impact over time. And even in very kind of young grades in K-12, it's going to matter because those skills are foundational to future learning. So, social aspect, academic aspect. And then I think the last thing I'll share about this here in kind of honor of this ADHD Awareness Month is that there is something also to be said about a child's desire to go to school and their connection to their teacher and their classroom. And whether we want to admit this or not, the unfortunate reality for some kids with ADHD is that because they're squirrely and they're sometimes um obnoxious with their response patterns, sometimes they make a lot of noises, or they are, you know, kind of all over your classroom, or they are loud when you know most of the other children are not loud. It makes it hard to kind of like them in the classroom. And I don't fault folks for having a human reaction to children. I would love if that phenomena did not exist. I would love if every child could be loved equally all the same by every grown-up that ever interacts with them, whether they're a teacher, a parent, you know, whatever, grandparent, extended family, etc. I would love if every adult could love every child exactly the same, but that's not real. That's not realistic. There are preferences that we have for children in our culture. There are preferences that we expect. We say, hey, I expect that when I'm talking, you will look at me. You won't lay on the couch, you won't flip upside down in your chair. There's an expectation that when um we're waiting in line, you will just stand still. And so kids with ADHD, it's not that they don't want to. It's literally that they can't. Now listen, there's a difference between a child who has ADHD and a child who is just being a little bit ornery. Every child's going to be a little bit ornery, right? But if there's a child who has a diagnosis of ADHD, I promise you, promise you, I've seen it so many times, friends. I can't even tell you the number of times I've seen it, where I watch a child really truly do their best to do what we want them to do, to try to meet those expectations. And their body just literally won't let them. So if any of these things um sound like something that resonates with you, maybe this sounds like your childhood. Maybe you're an adult and you're like, oh yeah, uh-huh, I didn't know what ADHD was. I still am not sure I fully understand what ADHD is, but the things you're describing, Beth, sound like me. Reach out to your physician. They're a great place to start. Reach out to your pediatrician. They are a great place to start. Most physicians and pediatricians have screening tools that could at least point you in the right direction. And they may refer you to therapy first. They may prescribe you uh a low dose of medication, and then we can talk about meds on another podcast. But starting with that first line of defense would be a great way to start. So thank you for tuning in today, and I look forward to having uh more episodes here more consistently, where I'm not overthinking it, friend. All right, have a good day. Ciao.
