Things You Learn in Therapy
Things You Learn in Therapy
Ep 145: Halloween Expectations Made Easy
Throwback episode!
Costumes and candy get all the attention, but the real magic of Halloween starts with a short conversation before you hit the sidewalk. We dive into the simple, practical steps that turn a sugar‑charged night into a calm, safe, and joyful memory: clear candy rules, repeatable safety cues, and manners that make neighbors smile. As a licensed psychologist and parent, I share how to set expectations that stick, reduce meltdowns, and help kids focus on fun without constant negotiations.
We start with the candy plan—how many pieces, when to eat them, and how to handle the post‑walk check—so kids feel in control within clear boundaries. From there, we refresh street safety for dark routes and busy sidewalks, including crossing routines, visibility tips, and what to do if the group gets separated. We also rehearse polite trick‑or‑treating: saying trick‑or‑treat and thank you, respecting paths and yards, and navigating the infamous “take one” bowl. These small scripts give kids confidence and reduce the need for on‑the‑spot corrections.
Finally, we center joy. A quick breath, a gentle tone, and a simple family tradition—like pizza after the route or a cozy cocoa and candy sort—shift the night from candy chaos to connection. With a handful of clear expectations and a focus on fun, Halloween becomes easier for parents and more memorable for kids. If this guide helps your night run smoother, follow the show, share it with a friend who’s mapping their route, and leave a review to tell us your favorite family tradition.
www.bethtrammell.com
Hello, dear listener. Thanks for joining on the podcast today. This is Kids These Days, and I'm your host, Dr. Beth Tremell. And I'm a licensed psychologist and an associate professor of psychology at Indiana University East, where I'm also the director of the Masters in Mental Health Counseling Program. And it's Halloween, y'all. You know, it's funny, Halloween is not necessarily my favorite, it's not necessarily my favorite holiday because I just don't feel like I'm creative enough to have great costumes. But I know our kids love this holiday. And I think some of it's because it kind of leads into the other holidays that are to come. And so this episode is just a brief couple of reminders around Halloween. So I had a news outlet reach out to me and ask for my thoughts on how do we make Halloween uh safe for our kiddos? And um, so I shared a few ideas. First, around creating clear expectations around things that you think are probably gonna come up. For example, how much candy can they actually eat? You know, I'm reminded of how, you know, when I was growing up, uh, we used to have to come home uh from trick-or-treating and dump all of our candy on the floor so that our parents could check the candy. You know, it was I always found it strange because I was like, what are they checking for? You know, are they gonna be able to see where someone injected this candy with some sort of drug through a needle prick in this candy package? I don't know. I always just found it so strange. And obviously as a child, I probably just found it annoying that I couldn't just eat the candy right away. Anyway, I digress. So here's the first thing to think about. You know, what are what are your kind of rules for tonight in eating candy, right? So maybe you you'll say, hey, you can have two or three pieces throughout the night. Maybe you say we don't eat any of it until we get home and check it for drugs. Whatever your rule is, talk to your kids about it before you go tonight. You also might have a conversation around safety in crossing the street, right? As things get um, as it gets dark, it's gonna become more critical that they know those expectations going in. You might tell me, um, or you might be thinking to yourself, well, Beth, they already know that. We've talked about that a lot. Great. And I'd encourage you to just have the conversation again. Just like I would encourage you to have that conversation every time you go into the grocery store, every time you go to church, every time you go to school, right? Like re-clarifying to remind them what the expectations are. And they may end up saying, like, I know, mom, I'm not allowed to, blah, blah, blah. But that gentle reminder is what their brain needs to continue to remember what it is that they that you expect of them. You know, another thing that may come up is, you know, reminding them to say trick-or-treat, reminding them to say please and thank you, reminding them not to step in other people's yards, or you can only go in this particular area. How often should you ring the doorbell? How many pieces of candy do you take out of the box that's just kind of sitting there? And it says take one, which means don't take three. All of these things are issues that you know might come up for your kids. And so my push for us today is to make Halloween the best version of what it could be by just clarifying our expectations. And this last reminder is as much for me as it is for anyone else, Halloween is about fun and joy. And so those moments where you as a parent might be getting annoyed at a thing or two, or maybe you're just really stressed from work today or over the weekend or last week. Take a moment to take a breath and say, you know what? Today is about joy. Today is about fun. And so, how can you make it more fun, more joyful? Maybe there's something special you can do for your kids today to remind them that today is about fun and joy. Maybe you make a new tradition after trick-or-treating and you stop and pick up a pizza on the way home. Think about how you can be intentional today in making Halloween the best Halloween it can be. Have fun tonight, y'all. Be safe, and until next time, stay safe and stay well.
